Have you ever been our in publics and your child waits for the perfect time to begin a full-blown tantrum in the middle of the aisle?
We think many parents can relate to this moment when the world is staring at you and the words of others bounces around whispering, “What kind of parent would allow this?”
Let me provide you with the answer.
A PARENT WHO IS PARENTING.
Sometimes parenting is ignoring, walking away, or otherwise teaching your child that the behavior they are engaging in at the moment will not function.
Here are three tips to managing those store time tantrum
(1) In order to parent, you will need to tune out the worlds opinions. While standing there confidently, give yourself a moment to plan out your actions. You have probably received various tips, resources, or can see your past experiences of things that have worked to begin to decide, what is my plan of action? Examples:
(a) remove from the store quickly and smoothly that I catch them off guard.
(b) decide to walk away
(c) Use behavioral techniques provided by my behavior therapist /consultant.
(d) whatever is decided!
While having others asking if you are okay or if you need help, will only distract you. So stand firm, stand tall, and stand confidently while sharing that you have everything under control. You can be confident, without feeling the most confident, don't forget that!
(2) During this moment, remember these tips:
(a) Your child may be trying to break you down to get their desires.
(b) they are trying to effect you negatively enough that you cave.
(c) this is an opportunity! An opportunity for you to connect the ideas of
---- Inappropriate behavior does not equal getting what you want ---The more connections like this they have, the faster they will learn their expectations!
(3) Read one of our previous blog post, "Are they doing it for attention?" and look into the reasons children behave in a certain way. Once you have figured this out you can
(a) give them a new way to get their desired function (Attention, play, tangible, or sensory) (b) assure they do not get what they want if they are engaging in inappropriate behavior. you do not want the connection ---Inappropiate behavior = getting what I desire ----
Store time tantrums are very difficult! They are overwhelming, you feel judged, tired, helpless, hopeless, and like you want to run! But remember, you are filled with the strength of being a parent and with consistency and understanding you can too have a grip on the behavioral concerns you are facing with your children!
About the Author
Daisy Monterroso, M.S
Ms. Monterroso has worked with a diverse population for over 8 years. Daisy finds her passion in assisting families manage behavioral concerns, reunify their connections and encourage parents to feel empowered and confident when parenting. Daisy has a Bachelor of Science in Psychology from University of Florida and a Master of Science in Mental Health Counseling from Nova Southeastern University. Daisy is currently pursuing a Doctorate in Marriage and Family Therapy at Nova Southeastern University.
Daisy founded Monterroso Integrative Services, INC to provide the community with quality ABA services that focus on providing unique services for the family as well. She has brought together a team of professionals that share her passions and devotion to helping families. Daisy has experience in behavior analysis (ABA), individual psychotherapy, couples counseling, family therapy, life coaching and parent coaching, while working extensively with families struggling with their children’s behavioral concerns, anger concerns, aggression, school-related concerns, motivational issues, and social skills deficits. She believes each person in the family has an integral part in treatment and works extensively with parents to help develop skills necessary to increase compliance with their children. She has found that supporting parents has been the most successful way of encouraging change in a family’s home. With parent training and parent coaching, Daisy provides a strength-based approach to empower parents to develop the skills to help them be the parents they desire to be.